Exhausted

I’m way exhausted today.Finally got 1 assignment done..4 more to go..still haven’t got any idea on how o what to do for my finals..
Haiz…think think think…I don’t wanna loose..

What to say today ya…everyday is like a new day for me..there’s so much challenges..i don’s even know where to start.
I’ve been feeling quite left out lately…its as if I do not belong anywhere..
I’n no good in dance…I’m no good in cooking..i’m no good even being a friend..
Its like everyone is turning their backs on me…what have I to say..i hate myself too..
This world is so hard to live..i’m really getting tired already..
Its like I’m just alone in my own little world…
Who cares if I’m gone..maybe some will even shout in joy when I’m gone..
I really need someone by me..to stand by me..to hold me tight when I feel lost..
To let me noe that I’m still appreciated..
Yes..he has always said that I’m greatly appreciated in the group..he often praises me..but why do I see his dislike in me in his eyes..why do I feel that I’m just a pain in the butt for him..
Its so hard…its already heart knowing that he’ll never be mind..its harder to accept the feel that I think he hates me..what’s wrong with me..
Haiz…guess..that’s me…

People will appreciate u when u appreciate urself

Still crying..lonely..

PEaCe

End

My StoRy

14th Oct 2008
The BEGiniNg

Hey…this is the start of a new entry of my life..let me get u started a little about my story..this story is about my life,the people around me and my achievements and falls..there’s also my dreams…
There’s so much to write about…I don’t really know where to get started…
Just like every event in this life..there’s always a beginning and an ending…

Just live life to the fullest…that’s what I have always said to myself and have always hoped to do..
If life was so simple…

The Distance

i’ve met him…just like that…
no introduction by anyone…I just bumped into him in some network…
It was like God wanted us to meet…
And the next moment I knew…we were together….not a couple..as in the same team…meeting each other almost everyday(but there’s also the other members..)
Have you ever met a person..who was so like you..i mean…every move he did,…every response he gave…it was like wat you would have do…and that was him..giving a point of 7/10 he was that much like me..
He was always emotional..his thoughts we’re almost like mine..the ego…
But then again..there were times where I felt..he was totally different..
He was just like a kid I need to take care of…
He was pampered..and spoilt..but yet..i done mine…
i’d spoil him more…there was a feeling and burden in me that keep reminding myself to be there for him…to give support to him….to spend him…as we would spend to a little kid..
he gave a feeling that he needs to be cared for..
He shared that he was hurt before and he has lose trust in people…
That was what I went through too..
And that is why I want so much to care for him…
Never to let him hurt and alone again…
But then again…I noe…I can never be near his heart…never..
The most I can be is his great pal..
That is for sure…
i have felt his warm arms around me..his gentle hand playing with my head..
rubbing my head like I would like my dear touch my head…
the way he plays with me. make me smile..
and yet again. this is him…this is how he treats everyone. not just me..
seeing him with the person he loves…my heart is full of jealousy.. But yet again.. Seeing him smile…makes my heart melt…
why oh why have I fall for this person..
its like repeating the same mistake I’ve done before..
falling for a person who is so popular that I don’s even stant in the 50% of the girls he would choose…

his warmth is so near to me…but yet his heart is so far away from me…
all I can do is to pray for blessings for him and to be there for him in times of need..even though he only knows I’m a great pal to him…

joy is when u made someone else smile

PeaCe

ENd