My SToRy,My Life,My FuTure

And it All COmes to an End..

2011-01-03T22:16:00.001-08:00

3/01/11

Well..this is the date where every memory that we had together came to an end..

It's for the better ya..so..well..no matter how hard it is..we've got to go through it too..

betapa susahnyer pun..kita harus lalui perpisahan ini kerana inilah yang terbaik tuk kita ya..

biarpun ada lagi jalan yang boleh kita pilih..tetapi disebabkn ketaaatan mi pada Tuhan..mi tak sanggup ya..sorry...

It's all because GOd is more important ya..and I believe...GOd will bless us both in the coming days ya..He'll bless us that we'll find our own happiness ya...

This 3 months together has been the sweetest memory i have in my life..

Each day..Waking up..knowing you have someone who loves you and is worried for you..and also someone you love and you're worried for..

He have thaught me what love really is..it is not easy..we go through pain and tears..but looking back..it makes us stronger and deeper in love..

he has also thaught me how to love..

how to care and give attention to the one we love..how to cherish every moment we have...

I don't blame anyone or regrett our seperation..It was meant to be..Maybe God sent Him to me so that i'd learn..being with someone not in d same believe as you will not work out.. and maybe..God sent him also to protect me and to give me care when i'm away from my family and close friends during the past months..now..it's time to let go..i guess..it is really hard..but..what else can i do..we have to make irreverible choices sometimes..

Pi syg..Selama ini 3 bulan ini..pi slalu ada untuk mi..dsaat mi sedih..mi senang..pi sentiasa ada untuk mi,,,pi sentiasa cemas pada mi..terima kasih bnyk2 kerana pi telah memberi kasih sayang dan perhatian yang tidak pernah mi rasai selain dari keluarga mi....

setiap kenangan yang kita lalui tidak akan dapat mi lupakan...biarpun kita harus berpisah begini..tapi ini adalah untuk kebaikan kita ya..mi akan sentiasa berdoa agar pi dapat mencari seroang yang akan memberi kasih sayang dan perhatian yang seindah pi berikan kat mi ya..

sebelum ini..mi tidak tahu bagaimana mahu memberi perhatian dan kasih sayang pada ssorang..tapi..smuanya pi ajar ya..terima kasih bnyk2...

thanks for all the love shown..and i really wanna thank all those who have helped us and shown us support for us two being together ya..sadly,i know..how sweet of a couple we were..hehehe./.but sadly..some things are just not meant to be...but..it's really a love i won't regrett...:)

Love,

Mabel

ALL we've been Through TOgether...

2011-01-03T22:14:00.000-08:00

30 10 2010

4.40 am

hei reski syg,

apa kabar?

semoga syg sentiasa sihat dan happy ya,disebabkan kita harus berpisah buat sementara waktu,saya membuat buku ni supaya syg dapat ingat pada saya selalu,

dan ini adalah sebuah hadiah ihklas dari hati saya ini,mulai hari ini hinggalah hari terakhir syg di malaisya,

setiap perkataan dari isi hati saya setiap hari dicatat disini

ini mewujudkan betapa pentingnya kamu buat saya

saya berharap kita akan berkekalan buat masa yang lama

saya akan sentiasa ingat pada kamu

I love you

30 10 2010

4.47 am

inilah catatan pertama

40 hari lagi sayang balik

setiap hari berlalu dengan pantas..

I am going to miss him allot..

I dread each day that pass by...

pada hari ini,pi datang berjumpa dengan saya pada awal pagi,setiap hari ,pi lah yang memberi semangat pada saya

untuk meneruskan dan menjalani hari itu

dengan melihat wajahnya saya sudah cukup puas :)

pi masak malam ntuk mi walaupun tidak diminta

tapi mi selalu tidak suka makan malam

nanti kalau tidak dimakan makanan yang syg beri tu,merajuk puladia tu,huh2 susah tau..

laki2 mang suka merajuk

bila bukak fb tadi,ternampak pula pi meninggalkan komen pada aweknya dulu

jeoleus saya

tidak pernah pun syg meninggalkan komen pada fb saya

tapi tak per lah

well...mi tetap syg pi...

*SALING MEMPERCAYAI

ITULAH RAHSIA SEBUAH HUBUNGAN YANG BERKEKAKALAN*:)

31 10 2010

12.01 am

hari ini kurang senang

sudah 2 hari kita tiada masa untuk melungkan masa

syg juga kurang messagge saya

biasanya syg tegas mahu meluangkan masa bersama saya

sebelum pulang tapi...hari ini dia langsung pulang

sayang tunggu saya habis keja,saya ingatkan dia mahu lepak,tapi, dia kata dia mahu balik

haiz,rindu yang teramat sangat padanya...I miss you dear

a day not seing you is like a year

03 11 2010

11.27 pm

aik

sudah 3 hari terlewat

mengapa??

sebab pendek syg tidur dibilik saya

macam mana mahu tulis,hehe 2 hari lepas,syg marah pada sya,dia merajuk,

sebab dia mahu perhatian dan kasih syg sya

sedih tau bila pi merajuk

sebab mi tak tau nak buat apa,

bukan tak nak bagi perhatian

dan kasih syg,cuman mi tak pandai or...

mi ni pertama kali pacaran ma

maaf ya...nanti mi belajar betul2

semalam dan malam ini mi amat senang

mi tidak mahu ada lagi hari2 yang kita gaduh dan bersedihan kerana hari yang tinggal cuman sikit lagi,

saya akan menghargai setiap masa yang ada

sebab saya tidak tahu masa yang sedih menutupi masa yang indah,dan bahagia

p.s. hari ini

,nasi yang syg goreng tu tak sedap lah..:)

tiapm kali syg masak mesti sedap...tapi hari ini tak sedap pon,..eee...mungkin sebab terlalu bz kot,tapi...tak apa.,saya tetap berasa senang sebab pi selalu menjaga saya

you ll never know when you,re gonna losse the one you love,

there,s too little time for agry times and cold wars..

every moments tahat you ll losse to be together

theretore,spend each moment with the greateast smile and laugther ever,

if fights occur,remember

you have too littletime to build

happy days together if you had

covered most of it with sad days....

mabel

7 11 2010

hari ini saya manemani syg sepanjang hari..

sudah 4 hari syg tinggal di bilik saya,semakin syg pada pi,

saya mahu meluangkan setiap masa yang ada bersamanya

senyuman dia cukup untuk memberi saya semangat pada saya

saya dan syg sama2 masuk keja pada awal pagi tadi,

pastu sayang balik tidur di bilik jam 10

sebelum masuk petang tu kan,pi buat lawak la....

syg lupa tutup pintu semasa mahu menyalin pakaian,dia terus tanggal seluar ..

tiba2shin lalu,ternampak syg tampa seluaer ,nasib ada seluar dalam,hahahaha

saya teman syg keeja sampai kul 11malam tadi

tapi hari ini saya juga amat geram .tadi semasa mahu pergi closedi heeren huys,kami duduk dibelakang

pastu pi dapat sms

saya mintak pi tak mau bagi,dia cakap pls....

tak yah lah tenggok,pi tak bagi

pastu dia cakap saya tak percaya pada dia

errr

geramnya,...

selalunya

kalu phone mi dapat sms dan pi tnya pasti mi bagi liat,law tidak pi merajuk,kata saya sembunyikan sesuatu padanya

tapi law mi nak tenggok....tak nak bagi tenggok pulak

mi merajuk,pi pon tak tahu,...yer....

tak ada pon orang nak pujuk...sedihnya...haiz...tapi mi tetap syg pi

muahz

perpisahan itu semakin dekat,saya mahu meluangkan setiap saat yang ada bersamanya,

8 11 2010

1.28 am

hari ini separuh hari tak ada cakap ngan pi

saya ngan syg sama2 masuk pagi

tapi sebab saya merajuk so...tak banyak cakap...senyum pon tak ada,pastu jam 2 syg masuk keja

tak adapun nak cakap ngan mi

terus gi tolong malay kitchen

hari ini pak tam angin tak baik...kesian pi...kena marah pak tam

pastu syg menanggis

semasa itu mi tak ada lar,,,...huhu

pastu pi langsung tak mau cakap ngan mi,

muka pi merah,jer,pastu asyik keluar menanggis

bila mi dah habis keja

mahu cari pi,

pi tak dapat jumpa,kesini kesana dicari,di call tak angkat pula...

saya pun udah nak nanggis...ma..

pastu abang wan kata pi kat parkir

bila jumpa pi,mata pi merah ja

tak da pon banyak cakap ngan mi,...sedihnya....mi tak guna la,...

pi sedih,mi tak tau nak buat apa...

pastu malam jam 8 mi jumpa pi di jenjang svc

lepas pi habis keja...kita lepak dipantai.

wah....rindu kat pantai ma

ni lah message yang pi kirim

buat hati mi senang sekali,

from my lurve 9.30 p.m 7 11 2010

syg,makasi ya kerana mi buat pi bahagia,mi yang menghapus hari2 sedih pi,1x lagi makasi ya

mi,

I love you syg

happy mi dapat message pi tu

nanti mi dah tak dapat sama2 kitchen ngan pi ma

sok mi ke la caffe dah

tapi dapat sama2 pagi

sok nak gi berenang ye ye!

tapi kan,pi sama kitchen ngan syah

risau mi ma...nanti syah apakan mi cam mana?huhu

8 11 2010

10 58 p.m

hari ini saya amat gembira... saya dapat lepak ngan syg seharian...

lepas tu kita pergi makan tom yam bersama kak wong,

lepas tu kita lepak di pool side dan di pantai

aturanya hendak berenang,tapi tak jadi

kita banyak bercakap tadi

saya berasa amat senang bersama syg

saya tidak mahu berpisah denganya

huhu

tapi mi ingin pi ingat ni,jika pi amat kesepian disana,di indon sana nanti sehingga nak cari awek baru

mi tak akan marah ya

dan mi akan faham ya

pi tak yah risau janji pi tak sembunyikan dari mi

pi terus terang ja ngan mi akan relakan

janji syg bahagia

haiz

tinggal beberapa hari jer....sekarang hampir setiap perkara disekeliling mengingatkan saya pada syg

bau rokok

lagu2 yang ada dalam phone

bilik yang berserak

pantai

bintang2 yang berkelip

ciuman yang ditayang dalam wayang

ciuman di dahi

lar....air mata dah mulai menitik

baju2

saya tidak sangka saya akan begitu sygkan pisaya akan rindu pada syg sangat2

rindu bau rokok

rindu pelukan

ciuman

segala2nya

hari terlalu hampir dah

mi tak tahu apa nak buat dah

mi mau meluangkan masa setiap saat yang ada bersamamu syg

semakin hari semakin syg mi kat pi,

Ilove you more eacg day

10 11 2010

1.30 p.m

hei syg...

I love you

terima kasih kerana sentiasa menjaga saya,sentiasa mengambil berat tntang saya

bila saya sedih...kamu je lah yang dapat membuat saya senyum semula

terima kasih kerana memilih ntuk mencintai saya

biarpun saya ini gemuk dan tidak cantik

kamu tidak kisah saya ini kasar,./..

kadang2 amat bodoh pulak

kamu sentiasa cemas pada saya...agak2 kamu tahu saya ini amat cuai dan sering mencederakan diri

terima kasih syg...kamu adalah matahari dan bintang dalam hidupku

mmmuahz

thank you

11 11 10

10.03 from my lurve

ya syg..pi hanya akan lakukan yg terbaik,janji mi bahagia pi akan lakukan semampu yg pi bisa

untuk bisa buat mi senang

mmmuah

semalam syg tau mi belum makan malam,pi tampa bertanya membuat mi nasi gorena

mi terharu sampai menitik air mata

thank you pi kerana selalu menjaga mi:)

13 12v 2010

hey

heya....

hari ini saya dan syg off day

syg tidur dibilik mi semalam

kita bangun pagi

pastu makan,pastu kemas2 bilik.,pastu on9,pastu borak2,...

off day pon tak tau nak buat apa ma...

tapi dah cukup senang dah dapat meluangkan masa bersama syg

nasib malam ada keluar tenggok wayang bersama wee cheew dan elly...

movie tru menceritakan 2 orang selalu gaduh terpaksa tinggal bersama untuk menjaga seoran bayi

lama2 dua orang tu sedar bahawa mereka berdua saling mencintai

comel ma baby tu...hehe

hari ini hari yang amat senang,

thank you syg

mmmuahz

hari ini kurang masa melyuangkan bersama sayang,kita sama2 keja pgi pastu pi balik jam 10 am dan datang balik jam 2

from my lurve

14 11 2010

syg pi pengen buat mi senang

tapi pi tak tau nak buat apa supaya mi senang dan bahagia bersama pi,hari semakin dekatuntuk kita berpisah,

pi semakin waktu berjaklan pi semakin takut berpisah ngan mi

syg...mi juga takut,...semakin hari,semakin berat hati mki..

pi,mi nak pi tahu,mi dah cukup bahagia dengan segala yang pi buatuntuk mi

tidak ada seorang pon yang syug mi dengan penuh perhatian dan kasih syg seperti pi selain ibu dan ayah mi...

mi dah cukup bahagia dah sekarang

setiap kali mi terpikir perpisahan kita,mi akan menitik air mata kerana tiada orang lagi akan masak2 untuk mi tampa diberitahu,tiada lagi yang marah pada mi bila mi tak berhati2 keja,...tiada lagi yang akan cemas pada mi seperti pi...

thank you pi

tadi pi paksa mi tido awal

mi bergurau ja ngan pi,mi mintak tom yam

mana tau,pi betul2 buat,enak pulak tu,tapi pedas sangat

pi kata 40 minit nak buat

hehe...2 x cuba pulak tu

hehe

k lar...mi tido,,...

I love you

22 11 2010

10.47 p.m

hei...dah banyak hari tak tulis tau

terlampau banyak berlaku

pada 15/11/10 pi dan mi jadian 2 bulan,tapi pada hari tu masalah besar berlaku..

pi sering dingat oleh syah..

risau benar mi pada pi...setiasp kali dilaluai dengan keadaan yang tidak aman dan dalam tekanan

pada 15/11 mi masak ntuk pi...sepatutnya mi mahu buat banyak jenis makanan..tapi disebabkan oleh apa yang berlaku

mi kesulitan masa

menu 15/11/2010 khas untuk sygku..

1 soup

oxtail soup

2 main course

thai style roast chicken roulade with puri2 sause

3 dessert

chocolate mousse with hazehuf crisp

mi telah ti[pu pi yang mi mahu keluar ngan kawan

tapi sebenarnya mi mahu mengunakan masa itu untuk masak...pada hari jum,at tu segala2nya telah terbongkar,

mr winston sudah tahu hubungan kita ....dia menyuruh kita supaya tidak berjumpa,syg akan dihantar balik terus ...haiz...

kenapa boleh jadi begini ma...sedihnya...

hampir setiap hari sejak hari tu mi menitik air mata mengenang nasib kita dan juga mengingati kenangan indah yang kita lalui,

mi kangen pi sangat...

tapi dengan pertolongan kawan,kita masih dapat berjumpa

pada 20/11..kita keluar minum

pada 21/11 kita main badminton sama

har....tapi mi masih kangen ma...kenapa jadi begini

pi tinggal 11 hari lagi nak balik...itupun kita tak dapat meluangkan masa yang ada bersama ): sedih...sangat2

setiba hari mi makin tak sanggup menulis buku ini pada bilangan hari yang tinggal

setiba hari ini mi menulis satu catatan yang baru,sehari akan berlalu,huhu

pi...mi sangat berat sangat mahu melepaskan pi...tapi mi akan cuba segala upaya untuk menjaga diri dan tidak bersedih ya..

tiada yang akan memutuskan kita selagi ada cinta

25/11/2010

11.35 p.m

eee...rindu pi yang teramat sangat...

semalam tak dapat jumpa semasa keja

lar....nape jadi cam ni...

dyulu kita boleh bercakap banyak2

sekarang

mi banyak nak cerita

tapi tak dapat jumpa...

huhu....rindunya,....

sedihnya....

sayang.....

tarikh pi balik dah ditunda ke 15 desember :)

dapat jumpa pi l;ebih dari 6 hari ma

tapi mi masih sangat risau keselamatan pi m,a...

hari ini syah ada ingat lagi...ish...tak habis2 dier tu

dah..tak mahu cakappasal dier..geram...menyampah

hjari ini,petang kepas pi keja rancangan nya mau keluar

pi mahu beli seluar

tapi tak jadi,sebab syah ngan rezi ada di mahkota parade

ish...menyampah

eee...

dah siap dah pakai cantik2 dah,..eee...geramnya..

tadi cik gu pi datang melawat diorang

ini membawa maksud tak lama lagi pi akan balik

mi tahu pi keberatan,mi pon sabgat2 berat

mi sekarang dah tak mahu pikir pasal perpisahan itu

emang mi berat hati pi nak balik

tapi mi juga nak pi balik cepat

pi hidup di sini tak aman ma..

selalu diancam syah

mi risau sangat2

tapi....15 hari lagi pastu tak dapat jumpa pi lagi ma

huhu

macam mana mi...

pi...dah dah lah +dapat luangkan masa bersama sedihnya.......

pi...mi pon berat hati ma...

5 12 2010

11.41 p.m

lar,....mi tak berasan ma..9 hari lagi jer pi tinggal...

pi...mi berat hati...

sebelum menulis tadi,...mi amat senag sekal;i kerana 3 hari yang lepas dapat meluangkan masa bersama2 orang yang tersayang

tapi...apabila mi mula tulis mi berasan 9 hari lagi

pi nak balik,pi.....

mi tak puas lagi luangkan masa betrsama pi ma

mi mahu tenggok museun bersama pi ma

mi mahu bawa pi ke genting,ke penang

mi mahu bawa pi ke KL lagi ma

tenggok suasana malam kl

mi mahu main layang2 bersama pi

mi mahu sambut crismas bersama pi

pi...masa dah terlampau singkat,...macam mana pi...

mi tak tau nak buat apa

3 hari lepas mi amat senang ma dapat luang kan waktu sehari bersama pi ..:)

kita bertolak ke kl jam 9.30 sampai jam 12

habis tu ke times square ...pi beli seluar panjang

lepas tu kita pergi ke sungai wang ntuk makan

lepas tu kita berjalan ke pavilion dan akhirnya ke menara berkembar KLCC

pastu kita naik kereta api ke rumah mi,....di kelana jaya

sampai dirumah mikita rehat sekejap

pastu ambil adik mi

pastu kita hantar pi,

senang sangat2 mi hari tu,..biarpun kepala mi sakit sangat,tapi...kesenangan bersama pi telah membuat mi senang...pi...

oh ya papa dan mama mi sayang juga sama pi ma

\papa dan mama mi bila datang kemalaka ,selalu mahu ajak pio 9 hari lagi tapi banyak lagi yang mi mahu buat bersama pi ma...huhu):

senang dan sedih I love you syg..:)

7 12 2010

haiz..

seminggu sehari lagi macam mana ini pi...?

hari kan pi merajuk sebab mi tak mahu pinjamkan hp mi pada pi

eeerr.geram betul

tapi lepas tu dah baik semula o..

pas keja pi datang lepak dibilik

rindu ma masa2 yang kita lalui dibilik

saling bercerita

saling mengeletek hehe

lar... mi tunggu message pi dari jam 9 30 sampai sekarang

pi tenggah tidor kot

elok lah tu

k lah mi mahu tido juga

muahkz

mi rindu pi sangat2

biarpun

biarpun kehadiran pi akan bawa kehancuran dan susah pada semua orang pada 1 dunia pun...

bagi mi pasti kehadiran pi membawa kesenanggan yang tidak terhingga pada mi...

mmuakz

I love you syg

15 12 2010

9.43 p.m

selamat 3 bulan ya syg

mi syg pi sangat2

sekarang mi mahu cerita pasal kita ke kl..pada...kita sama2 ke kl pada 9/12/2010..hari kamis

mi tunggu pi habis keja jam 3 pastu kita sama2 menunggu bus di sentral

kita sampai di stasiunbus bukit jalil pada kira2 8 p.m

pastu....papa dan mama mi bersama adik mi menjemput kita

papa mi membawa kita makan di kl kita makan nasi dagang,selepas tu,kita dibawa ke klcc,dan kita tangkap2 gambar disana dan jalan2 berdua

selepas tu kita balik kerumah mi di petaling jaya

selepas menurunkan papa,mkama,dan adik mi,...mi dan pi pergi mengambil adik mi ,cheryl di cc...

selepas mengambil cheryl

kita ke the curve,mutiara damansara...disitu kita melihat hiasan malam cristmas

pastu kita kemamak makan

penat betul malam itu

tapi kasian pi tidur atas sofa

pada hari ke2 pi dean mi bersama adik mi amanda keluar sama2

sebelum keluar main

papa mi membawa kita makan nasi minang

pas hantar papa balik rumah,kita ber3 ke college mi

selepas tu kita terus ke sunwaypyramid

kita bermain skatay disana

seronoknya,......pi macam budak2 ma..hehe

asyik jatuh ma

tak jadi habis tulis

pi dah datang

bye.....:)

LAST DAY

hei pi...

ni lah catatn terakhir dah

dalam beberapa jam dah,..

dalam beberapa jam lagi pi nak balik dah...

haiz...

berat sangat hati mi...

mi sekarang ingat balik hari2 yang kita laluai berdua

3 bulan tapi dah macam 3 tahun ma

mi ingat lagi...

ciuman pertama kita dipantai

sebelum tu,bulan ramadan

pi kena tarik seluar pi ma bg hanif ma

hahahaha.....

pastu pertama kali pi datang kebilik

seluar dalam mi tergantung dalam tandas

malu ma

hahahaha......

pertama kali pi merajuk

puas mi pujuk

rupa2nya pi main2

eee...eh

sampai sekarang baru 5-7 ma...eee...

per lagi...pertama kali kita keluar sama2 ke mahkota parade

pertama kali pi nangis

jadi pulak bahan lawak kitchen

hahahah..........

pi...

mi mahu pi tahu bahawa mi sangat senang ngan pi ya

mang mi tak boleh tipu

mi sedih kita kan berpisah

tapi...

mi janji mi akan dapat teruskan hidup ngan senang setiap hari karna pi akan sentiasa ingat pada pi...

pi janji ya,...belajar baik2

selepas dah tamat sekolah

jumpalah ngan mi dengan bangga ya

CHEF

saya ingin bertemu dengan anda dalam arena pertandingan masak antarbangsa ya..

mi syg pi selalu...

pi harus janji pi harus sentiasa jaga diri baik2

apapun yang berlaku

jangan sembumyikan dari mi ok..

I love you

Having you has been the best blessing in my life

each moment with you

makes me love you more

Biarpun kita sering gaduh

tapi kita tak dapat pun saling merajuk lebih dari se jam

thank you pi buat segala2nya,....

MABEL

The truTh...

2010-10-21T10:35:00.001-07:00

i've learned...sometimes telling the truth is so hard..hiding something from someone u love is really hard...

but not telling them makes things worst..it hurts them more...

at times..i thought just keeping certain things to myself would be better so i won't hurt someone...

but i've realised..it hurts them more that we don't tell them but they found out some where else

so..my advise...do not hide anything from the person u love...

the truth hurts..but it hurts even more to find out frm someone else...

-end-

My LUrVE~!!!!:))))

2010-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

Welll..I never knew love can be found so fast..maybe not alll the time..

ta daa..finally..mabel has a boyfriend..and i really do love him...

i didn't know how much i loved him till i knew i couldn't be a day apart from him...

This cutie here is totally not in the lst of guys i was looking for..

1.he is short

2.he's not malaysian(i wanted a european boyfriend..)haha

3..at times we couldn't understand wat d other person was talking.

3.he's no rich guy

4.we'ree gonna be far apart soon..

bbut..that's what makes him special..his my shorty..:))

how on earth i fell for him??

well..for i know..being with him i felt like a child again..i felt free..and in comfort..

whenever i had problems..having him by myside made all the problems go away..

we didn't need money to be happy..we spent most of our times togtehr talking and just being in each others arms..i can say..70% of ur times spent together was just at the beach..we hadn't much places to go..

we barely go out on dates to movies or expensive dinners..but i'm satisfied just being simple like this..

there's more to come:)

LOve...Mi sayang pi...:)

-end-

love makes us grow

2010-09-21T03:23:00.000-07:00

welll..it's been quite sometime now..

i'm now gone through near to 3 months of training over here in melaka and so much has happened..

i never knew i could learn so much about love right here...

1.love cannot be forced..welll..i tried ..but it turned out terrible...

2.love is assurance...because i thought i like dat someone...know i lost our relationship..

3.love must be said out...if one only shows action but never express in words..ur so gonna loose that person..

4.Love sees no defect or weakness...well..whatever that was once a problem to me.seem just a small prob when love blinds it all...

it's reallly hard when u gotta sacrifice friends..and i mean real good friends to gain that love..

well...i've lost 1 fren...he cared for me so sososomuch...whenever i was sick..he would giv me all kinds of medicine..he would be the one asking how is my hand..(i've got allergy)..he would make sure i eat..

and we would go out together all the time..but the moment i told him i had a bf...all those caring stop..he doesn't even talk much to me anymore..it's really sad..

btu well..when love comes..sacrifices comes also right..

some might have lost love infornt of them..but it doesn't mean we have to give up right..i believe everyone has a chance to be forver loved..so never give up k..

-end-

LOve Or Dumb??

2010-06-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

SOmetimes Love is Just Plain Stupid..
U've Done So Much for No Results..
Wasted so Much Time..So Much Effort Only to Have Results in Dreams..
Each Time he Walks Pass u,U Think he'll COme to u..
But DissapoIntment Hits you When He Walks Pass You Not Even Looking At You..
And Your Sitting There SMiling Like an idiot
All Effort Was giVen but Not even a Smile in Return..
Am i Plain Dumb/Naive or Is This Called Love??

EaCh day i Am filled With hope When i see HIm...BUt Reality Stucks wHen He starts Talking BOut His Baby..When he Starts Telling Me..How Hot that Chick Over The Table is..
Well..aLL i Want now is For him TO know That i'm Always here FOr HIm..

Mabel...You've Just Hit a Lamp Post...You've Struck Dumb..Haiz...

WEll...Like They ALways Say..

THis is Life..

PeaCe yo..

-End-

My Bad Boy..

2010-06-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hey YOu...if Only u Knew how Much i Liked you...
And it Is a Simple Mistake...Well..i Don't Care..

I Don't CaRe if the World thinks that u are a Bad Boy..BecAuse i Know U're Not...
I Don't Care if u Had Studs And Tattoo All Over...EvenThough it Was ONe Of The Things I AnTI
I DOn't Care if You Smoke..As Long As Not When u're With Me..
I DOn't Care If i Could Not Have 100% Of ur Love...Even 30% is More Than Enough..
I Don't Care if U Had Another Gurl In Ur Heart...I Know i CanNot ComPare MySelf tO her..
I Don't Care if U Had Some Other Gurls OutSide...As Long as u'd Let Me Know And That u'll Still Love Me And Came Back To Me When Ur Done Playing With her..
i Don't Care if Ur Are Not Even Close To The Qualities i FInd in a Guy.,...Ur Perfect Enough FOr Me..

I Care That ur ALways the Best in My Eyes..
I Care That When Ur dOwn...Cos i DOn't Wanna see u Sad..
I Care That u Don't Tell Me What's Going On..Because I'm WOrried AbOut u..

This is How Much i Like yOu...DOn't YOu Know...Having a Lil Of ur Attention and Love is More Than i Can Ask..i've aLways been a Person Full Of Jealousy...But Wanting U Has Made me Fight Back Jealousy as i Know i Can Never Have u Fully..I Am Nothing Compared THose u gO After And THe Her u that u Miss...But Having a Lil of Ur Heart And A Lil MemoRies in Ur Life is More Than Enough...No Matter How MAny Other Gurls u'd Have Outside..i Won't Mind..As Long as At The End Of The Day..u Know u'll Still Have Me And u'd Come Back to Me...

Falling For a Bad BOy...Well...Is it Sacrifice or Pure Dumbness??

PeaCe...

Life Goes on..

2010-06-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

Well...Well..haiz..It has been long since i've last updated...
Time FLies fast...i've Got only one more month till i leave for practical training and then college ends...
Well..This half Year...So much happened...To cut stories short..Life had its bads and worst..well there were good times too..
And yeah..1 of it was getting into philipd healthy cooking semi's...
Pm Module is still on and its getting worst...things are so so messy...well..this is life..hahahah
i wanna finish it fast..but the faster it finishes means the shorter time i have left with my buddies here...huhu

Well..FifA started...and it started bad..with 8 matches and 3 were drawn matches...well..at least argentina won~!! yeah.. :)

Things are going on..but i found out..i didn't have a direction..i am at lost now..i don't know what to do..what i wanna do or what i want...

haiz...life life...GOd..show me a direction pLease...

p.s...So Broke now...haiz...No Income No Nothing...

PeaCe yo

HopeLess..

2010-03-08T04:07:00.000-08:00

i Given So Much Effort...more Than Them..But..Why Why u Guys Treat Me Like This...am i not Important..i Miss u Guys Lots...

i Don't wAnna Be there For You..But To Be With u guys..PleaSe...

:(..

PeaCe..

ENd-

My Fight For the Lord~!

2010-02-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

Recently i have been backsliding from God..and i mean allot...

Although not very serious thing such as someone died or what but i am facing problems emotionally..well/...everything i do don't seem to get their way..it seems that i am a total failure..dance and cooking...i am no good in either..i even suck as being a fren..well...that's what i noe..

haiz...i'm not trying to gain anyones attention here but well./..i really dunno who to go to..

things are hard when there is no one to support u or even listen to u...at start..i thought maybe the Lord is the only one..yeah..it's really true..but i was greedy..i wanted more..i wanted humanly attention..therefore..i sulk and kept everything in hope that i'll find someone to pour out to..i talked to the Lord lesser and lesser and i was taking my own lead..chosing others over going to church..i made my own way..

and things just got much more miserable..

than after a long fight alone...well..i went to church yesterday..like normal..than..for the first time in many many many months,,,i answered the altar call..i didn't know why...but..i feel..welli wanted to see whether the Lord really would talk to me..and..HE DID~!!!!!

Aunty Jenny prayed for me...i dunno how she knew i was in a state of self disppointment..

The Lord have definitly told her..or spoke to me through her..

He said to me..all those weakness i felt that have brough me down..things that i felt i was useless and made myself witdrawn from amny people and kept to myself..all these thoughts was made by the devil..the Devil made me felt weak and hopeless..making me loose all self confidence.

AND SO..The Lord told me..never to believe all those things..He is always with meand he will support me in all ways..i believe..the Lord will bring me up..no matter how weak i am..in Him..i am strong~!..i really pray that i would find out what He wants me to do..and walk in His ways..or maybe i have already known but have not seen the importance in it..

Well,from this day on..i will fight the fight..with the support and the guidance of the Lord,My Father,My God..I KNOW hE WIll be there for me..therefore i will not feel alone and afraid..

he will reach out His hand to Hold on to me when i fall..same goes to everyone,...he has always been mergiful and graceful to me..although over and over again i went against Him..he never failed to bless me...Thank You Lord and do forgive me for all that i have done against You,

FOr the Lord is my Strength

Peace..
-end-

My LimItatIons..

2010-01-18T10:42:00.000-08:00

Well...Have U Ever felt That u Noe U WOuld Not be able to go any further..where u felt like giving up?
well..to tell u the truth...i have always have the filling to give up on myself..especially in the life of dance...since a long long time ago..i have ad set my mind that i would never be a full time dance...meaning take dance as a way to earn a living..well..to me...love and passion and hard core training is not enough..i must all come together with talent..well..that's one thing i lack...that's the one thing that have pulled me down...i never had the talent to dance...welll...maybe it is hard to explain..but well...its art..anything to do with art has to go with talent...right..
well..but i never gave up on dance..y????because i love it too much...i had shed tears for it,had bruise and bumps for it,.even broke my heart for it...i've been through too much...but...it all will come to an end one day..and i can feel that it is soon..well..to me.i have not much time left for the dance scene and i wanna make it my best...but..things just don;t seem to work my way..i've realised how bad i was..i couldn't even do a simple handstand off the wall without falling with a "THUMP"..after so many years..my skills are now all gone..and i don't have any style...seeing the rest just make me hate me,dance and sometimes them...haiz...how can this be...i feel so useless and i feel that i'm wasting everybody's time.come on..i still remember...once someone told me when i was around 16yrs old..Mabel can do chair freeze now,but 10 years later..she still can only do chairfreeze..well..i think...i'm unhelpable..and that words will really come true..haiz...

if u guys r reading...i really wanna aplogize to all who had wasted your time on me..i really thank you guys for the guidance and ur patience on me..
i;m so sorry that i have dissapointed u guys...
i now..you all had dreams of going far in this scene and because of me...u guys couldn;t go any further...it's also an embarassment to show what i have..after telling the amount of years u have been dancing..i'm a complete noob..but i'm really sorry...i really don't wish to give up now...well...till time allows...i really wanna continue dancing..but if i'm really a barrier for u guys to go forward..do tell me ok...i'm so sorry!!!!!

PasSion,Love,Hard Work And taLent Have to GO TOgether TO Make THings WOrk!!!!!

-ENd-

HaPpie New Year!!

2009-12-30T09:52:00.000-08:00

Ok..it's New Year's Eve~!.. time flies super fast..Well..i had a hectic,Life Experiencing,Sad And Happy 2009..but now..it's time to say bYe 2009 aNd hi 2010!!!
i Wanna Wish EveryOne a HappiE and BlessEd New Year Ya!!!
may u Have a MarveLous year and mAy everyonE Live It To tHE fullest..i Noe i wiLL..i Wanna Go singaPore!!!Yeah..ahhaha..And Yeah..it'll Be a FantaStic Year COs...

Yeap..WOrld Cup is Here!!!Yeah...

Once a Again..Have a BLast NEw YEar EveryOne..

WOohOOO!!!!!n Dun Get Drunk..Well..Who cARES...

-End_

End Of 2009-

PEaCe

Bye Bye 2009!

2009-12-30T09:41:00.000-08:00

Ok..It's tHe Last Day Of the Year AlreAdy..Have everyone Done Their ResoLutions??i Haven't..

well let me tell u..my resolution last year Was Great...But..i Guess Not even 50% of it was done..hahaha

well..hopefully this year it'll be better..or i suck at following Written agreements..haha

When it come to resolutions..people tend to think..well..i'll definitely gonna change and be what i want..but how many of us do achive it?

well..haha..who noes..

For i noe..i have a really long list for next year..haha..Will UpLoad it soon..and yeah...sorry for HIding for So Long...May 2010 Be A Great Year!

Resolutions!rEsoluTions!ResoLutions!

End

-PeaCe-

I-dAnce ComPetitiOn@PeNang..12/12/09

2009-12-18T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is the 1st ever competition inversion has entered together..consisting of Thomaz,Ricole,Caren,Dexter,YiMei,Kevin anD mABEL.although..it wasn't my first..but it felt as if it was the first..a new crew stepping out..a new crew being exposed and a new crew for the public to judge..

Preparing for this day was really stressing everyone out as at this time of year..everyone was rushing into finishing up watever business they were in..whether it was studies or work..and we had much problem coping up time..but at last..we managed to do it..

We went down to penang right after a show on 11/12/09..it was around 4am when we started our journey where we arrived in penang around 9am..everyone was exausted by then..and guessed wat..that was the 1st time i drived above 110km/hr.heheh..n it was the 1st time i drived long distance..(although dex drived most of the time)

Upon arriving there..we had no idea wat to do..so we wandered around the shops of queensbaymall..Then finally,2pm ..check in time..everyone eushed back,had a quick bath and then took a short nap..evyone was exhausted..(poort thing ric n dex couldn't rest cos they had to be drivers.)

Then the clock finally struck 5pm..we had to rush to register and at 6pm..the competition was about to start..we were the 5th crew after street wreckerz..nervous was in us...but yeah..to tell the truth..that was one of the best we had did!from the video..we could see that we did pretty well..and most of all,we enjoyed ourselves..we were so satisfied..although we did not win..but we knew we tried our very best..The overall results was a lil of a dissapointment..but..who cares..we won!yeah..btw..the judge was BBoy Katsu from Japan n A world known Locker from i forgot where..hahah

well..everything went really well..

here are the comments we got..BBoy katsu said that e did not get what we were trying to express or tell through our dance..i think what he meant was...we weren't showing what we were strong at..but instead..we just mixed and match stuff that we knew..than bboy max said that we weren't really syncronized..especially where blind spots were..such as tiny moves on legs and moving around..we also had lack of transitions and formations..but overall..the choreography was good..but it was at a flat pace..yeah..and a few othr ppl commented too.but for i knew..as most in the crew were new dancers to different styles and we all had different background..this was kinda big acomplishment for us...GREat work Inversion..

and i wanna thank God for thi too..that nothing went wrong..

N d next day was i-Battle..Bboy oNe(dEX)Competed for this and managed to win his battle..but he did not manage to get in the top16..but at least..he won the 1st round and bboy katsu also gave good comments on him ya..I'm prouD of YA!!!!

When we all camback to pj..we were all worned out..bt our spirit was still high..

I just wanna thank everyone that have supported us and also..Thank God for being there for us and protecting us through out d journey..

aLL tHE bEST iNVERSION..We cAn Do it..!...StrIve For VicTory and To Show The World What We Can Do!!!..FOr Dance Changes The World!

PeaCe

-End-

簡單愛-Jay Chou..

2009-11-26T22:01:00.000-08:00

曲: 周杰倫
Qu: Zhou Jie Lun Music: Jay Chou
词: 徐若瑄 Ci: Xu Ruo Xuan Lyrics: Vivian Hsu
Translation: wackycashew - http://www.jay-chou.net/

說不上為什麼
shuo bu shang wei shen me
Couldn’t really say why

我變得很主動
wo bian de hen zhu dong
I became very initiative-taking (or “active” as opposed to “passive”)

若愛上一個人 / 什麼都會值得去做
re ai shang yi ge ren / shen me dou hui zhi de qu zuo
If you fall in love with someone, anything is worth doing

Pre Chorus

我想大聲宣佈
wo xiang da sheng shun bu
I want to announce loudly

對妳依依不捨
dui ni yi yi bu she
That I can’t bear to be apart from you

連隔壁鄰居都猜到我現在的感受
lian ge bi ling ju dou cai dao wo xian zai de gan shao
Even my next door neighbors can guess my feelings right

Chorus 1
河邊 / 的風 / 在吹著頭髮/ 飄動
he bian / de feng / zai chui zhe tou fa / piao dong
The breeze by the river, is blowing your hair, swaying

牽著 / 妳的/ 手一陣莫名/ 感動
qian zhe / ni de / shou yi zhen mo ming / gan dong
Holding your hand, a sense of unknowingly being touched

我想帶妳回我的外婆家
wo xiang dai ni hui wo de wai po jia
I want to take you to my grandma’s home

一起 / 看著日落 / 一直到我們都睡著
yi qi / kan zhe ri luo / yi zhi dao wo men dou shui jiao
Watching the sunset together until we fall asleep

Chorus 2\

我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開
wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang
I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

愛能不能夠永遠單純沒有悲哀
ai neng bu neng gou yung yuan dan chun mei you bei ai
Can love be forever innocent without sadness

我想帶妳騎單車
wo, xiang dai ni qi dan che
I want to take you bike-riding

我想和妳看棒球
wo, xiang he ni kan bang qiu
I want to watch baseball with you

想這樣沒擔憂唱著歌一直走
xiang zhe yang mei dan you chang zhe ge yi zhi zou
Want to be like this with no worries, singing as we walk along

我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開
wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou be fang kai
I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

愛可不可以簡簡單單沒有傷害
ai ke bu ke yi jian jian dan dan mei you shang hai
Can love be simple without pain

妳靠著我的肩膀
ni, kao zhe wo de jian pang
You leaning on my shoulder

妳在我胸口睡著
ni, zai wo xiong kou shui jiao
You sleeping on my chest

像這樣的生活我愛妳妳愛我
xiang zhe yang de sheng huo wo ai ni, ni ai wo
Like this kind of life, I love you, you love me

想簡！簡！單！單！愛
xiang! Jian! Jian! Dan! dan! Ai...
Want simple simple love!

想簡！簡！單！單！愛
xiang! Jian! Jian! Dan! dan! Ai...
Want simple simple love!

LOVE is SImple..YEah!!!i Love This Song~

The End Of a SemEstEr and The BEgininG Of SomeThing NEw TO COme...

2009-11-23T05:05:00.000-08:00

The ENd Of ANother SemesTer..

this semester is one super memorable semester..so many things happened,

so many things changed and so many new things..

For me..its been a challenging semester..

it was challenging from social wise,skills as well as personel character..

i have learnt so much and gained so much yet i have lost 1 really important things..

the ability to smile 24hrs non stop..

i've realised all the stress and all the things about has caused me to change so much that from an angel i became a devil..

my temper has increased and my smile has faded...
Throughout the sem,so much have happened..

started with a though begining wher the lecturer don't seem to like my group and ended p allot problems arised that caused the lecturer to even blacklisted us..

Nah..Maybe i'm just thinking too much.

We had wonderful classes this sem,it was all about the kitchen and teamwork..

Trully,it was challenging,facing communication problems within the team,with others..

wow..and this sem,we truly saw d difference and the real character when it comes to work in each and everyone of us,there are some that are really gud and some were ..er..er..a lil problem..ahah

Classes were challenging as this is the sem where most of us found where our passion really is,either in pastry,bakery,hot kitchen or maybe management..that's for what i think..

i've realised how much i didn't like bakery..but anyway,it was compulsory to have the knowledge of making bread items right..so yeah..

i am really into kitchen art..where gingerbread,marzipan,sugar work,food platin and anythin u can think of..There are things that made me felt i was a failure and things that made me felt really proud..

But through this all,i have learnt allot..

It is the heart that counts..not the skills..

erm..what else..than we had prom..my very 1st prom..it was..elegant..everyone was amazing that night..and we really had so much fun.

haha..

then come to march past..this was really a big test for the whole Cula..

it tested our patience and also tolerence as well as team work..

although we only had 2nd place..but it was great as we did our best..although the formation was something that we could have done even better..but well..i was really proud..

thorughout the whole practice session,allot happened..heated arguments between the mates as well as with the lecturers..than there was the challege where some couldn't understand malay and most of us have not marched before..

staying in college daily from as early as 7am till 8 or 9 pm was really tiring..but it was well worth it..

we even went out to lepak together after practices..

not only did we stayed back for march past..even for CAD project,Gingerbread,sports carnival games..all was fun we bonded..

after the march past,there was the due dates for projects and assignments..every1 was rushing like mad..hahah..

staying back late to finish up projects..haha..

man..college was like our 2nd home at that time..well all this are preparation for pm Module eh..

Then finally exams were here..although only 2 practical exams..but it really tested our skills..

wooh...all was hard..

through this sem,friendship was bonded..but from a big group,we have also seperated into small gangs...well....yeah..we have our own gang of frens to hang out..it wasn't anymore like last time where the whole Cula would go out 2gether..nah..i guess times changes people..

what else eh..

yeah..we've bonded also we other Culas n Pcts..the seniors and junior..

we have one heck of crazy seniors..especially from the pastry kitchen..CULA3!!!

they're one crazy group...gonna missed them allot..

this sem,we spent most of our time in the pastry kitchen and those incharge in it really helped,guided and thought us allot..Cula3..bonded with them..although is we just got to know each other for merely 2 months..but it was really fun..it was a blessing to get to know them

Kar Ling~my Cutie..lOve Her Eyes :P..ReYes~tHe HandSOme BAker..JasOn~The Nice Bully.

AI Min..The SupeR QUiEt GIrl..Win~THe AKak Of ALL AKaks..kaK IlLiaNnna~The Semua Pun Makan CUtie..OD~The MonGOlian SUper HandSOme CHef~and ALso many mOre Of THem..

they're really the best seniors i've met..and it was a blessing..

Then we have the juniors,,..PCT6,7 & 8.

er..sorry la..too much to list down..

we had the privellage to work with them during a partt time job in sheraton subang and it was super crazy..hahaha..

they too were one heck of a crazy people..

Yeah.so there you go..thr's more..but too much that i can remember..owh ya..few events that i've helped out..the hari raya dinner,then there was a few other events..

but we've really learned allot and now..we're preparing on what's to come..

i really had a sucky and great sem at the same time..i really wanna take this oppurtunity to thank all u guys that have guided me..be there for me..supported me as well as those who have scolded me...now,as the year comes to an end and i reviewed back the past sem..i've realised..

all the scolding,black face and bad comments i've received made me fight back even more although at times i had a broken heart..

all this made me wanna work harder..

I pray that when the new sem comes,i'll be a better and changed person ya..

Thank u guys for being a blessing to me..For God did not give me a Lover this sem..but He gave me Lovers~..wonderful loving friends.. :)..

TO CULA 5!Love U GUys..

-Khai YUet~Bro..JoSeph~D CraZy JoKer..Wee Chew~My CLubbIng Kaki And Part TIme BF..ahaha..CInDy~My ONLy GUrl YamCHa Kaki..EMma~Big Jie Jie..PeiMinn~d PastrY CHef.Mark~My Most ReliabLe Fren..THx!.BennY~d One WHo ALways Drives ME Arnd..THx.

-Syah~My SO Called"BoyFriend"in Cula5..THx FOr ListEning TO Me..-Faiz~The HottiE..AKmal~mr.Macho..IkhwAn~d Big ExEc..JoEL~d SMall Exec..GHana~The HandSOme MonGOlian..KEn~SouS Chef..SHaROn~She Trained My PatiEnce..hehe..ZeCk~Weird Fella..EmSOn~my Best Bud SInce Sem 1...FarHan~d Cool Fella

ALvin~the Man..RichArd~ALways BuLLying Me.. :P..HasHim~The COmmanDeR..Good Job!..SU Fern~Dai Ka Jie!..Jun Yang~Cute Rain...AmiRUL~d BLur Fella..ShAun~AnotHer WeIrd Fella..DinO~Our Big BOss..IzzY~My Kaki CLubBing in Training..haha..aLiEf~The Big BOy..and nOt TO FOrgEt..our Beloved..MR.Fami..

OutIng in 1U...

My InTernaTIonAL COoking Exam.

My Fruit Carving..WatErmeLon

MarZIpan..

ALL WEll Ends WELL

PeACe...May The Next SemesTer Be a BEtter One!..More TO LEarn...More TO ChanGe And More FUn TO COme!!

-ENd-

Sem BreAk Dec 2009-Day 1(BRo's Pre BUrfDay CelebRaTIon)

2009-11-20T01:38:00.000-08:00

The very night of our sem break...before everyone went back to their respective hometown..
We had a lil gathering for my bro,Khai yuet..her burfday's on the 22nd...but yeah./.she was going back..so..we PartieD all nIght Long..
The Gang For The Night,Benny,Pei Minn,Cindy,Emma,Cheryl,MArk,JO(he Joined DUring MArdI),Jason THeng & ReyEs(THey Joined DUring DInner),Me MysELf And The Big Bro..KHai yUet..
We started out with a movie session..2012..And Guess WHat...i Missed The 1sT 1 1/2 HOur Of The Movie..
The Movie Started At 5.30 But I was There Around &Pm..but Thank God it was a long movie..we got to at least watch an hour more of the ending.hahaha..anyway...to me its quiet a nice movie.it stirs the heart and make us start to realise God's powers r really great...
well..continuing...we went for dinner..
at secret recipe..we wanted to have chilly's but the line was freaking long..ahhaa.
so..secret recipe it is..
Then some of us went back to change..and off to Mardi Gras..er..it was kinda a mood spoiler that night as there was no one there...there's just us and another table..man..we spent an hour there and sum of us left..Me,my SIs,JO,Wee Chew,JasOn n CIndy..n Jeff(a Fren of Jo..)
YeaP..The 7 Of us Squashed intO a Car aNd went aLL the Way DOwn TO kL...
1st we went to Maison..but then they decided to change place..so we went to zouk..but too bad..the security was strict so we couldn't enter..
than lastly we went to Poppy...it was nice there..n don't ask how we got in..ahha
Wooh...it was so different from the clubs at pj area..the atmosphere..the people(Plenty Hot cHicks n GUys..hahaha)
but when we arrived at poppy..my mood was a lil down..so didn't enjoyed till d max..but it was great anyway..
then we ended the night with BReakfast at the nasi lemak in Paramount..

MarDI GraS

DinnER.

Pre-DInner DaTing..hahahha

Yeah..About This..Before DInner..we Had a Walk aRouNd to decide wher we should eat..and pei minn just couldn't stop her steps from going in to boutiques..hahaha..and well..if she went in..we're gonna spend half an hour to wait..so..yeah..we tried pulling her out...we went from dragging to holding hands and blocking her way..it was super funny..especially when benny tried to pull her away each time..it was as if a boyfriend was trying to beg a gurlfren to not leave him..yeah..n that was funny..ahahah

k..Long More WaY For tHe HOlidAYs!

Gonna miss u guys allot

-End-

i Hate TO See MysELf...

2009-11-15T09:10:00.001-08:00

This wHole Week was really the worst of the worst..i come to realize,how much i suck u noe..i suck till me myself hate to see myself..
i dunno what have i become..and y do am i not good in anything..
i have realized that..nothing is what i'm good at..
dance??come on..who dances like me???beginners..nobody takes 6-7yrs to come to my standard..ppl only nit 6-7 months..u noe..when she is around..i feel so useless??she is new,but yet she has beaten right to the ground..she has her own style,and she masterd her style..evybody is amazed to c her..i am no where near that..u noe how it feels..
whn u have put so many years into it..but what u r today can be beaten by someone new??its suckz man..when i see my dance...i just hate it..!
Beauty???i am no where near that either..look..evy guy that i think would like me either end up saying he like my sis or mayb a close fren of mine..they always get to know me to get info about others..its not that i want the attention but sumtimes it just make ur heartbreak u noe??
what about inner beauty?i have totally none of that..
i have changed from good to bad..i dunno how..i just cant seem to be the old me..the cheerful never emo gurl..i love me bak those days..but the me today,is just terrible,i blast my voice at people,i resist helping people sometimes,i build dislike to people and i am more and more worst..what have happen to me???
i have nothing good in me man..
my cooking suck so much ler..i seriously dunno how to cook...so far for dreaming to be worlds top chef..haiz..

guess...yeah..i've realise i am a nothing..

ENd.

My GinGerBread..

2009-11-07T19:52:00.001-08:00

After Nearly A month...It Is FinAlly done..
we never thought we could really make it.cos the sketch was really complicated..
many others also doubt dat we could make it..
but finally..the masterpiece is done..wah la..yeng bo..hahaha
it really took us allot of brain power n time..we were like pratically evyday in the pastry kitchen..wooh..
but the end product was wat made us really proud..
we received quite a few compliments..
bravo for mark,pei minn n mabel..!!!yahoooo
ahah..si beh yeng.hahha
the only thing i am nt satisfied is..its kinda small for a gingerbread showpiece.hahah..
but anyways...it was nice..beautiful..
next creation..WEDDING CAKE!!!!Gambateh!

Sweets for a Glass EffeCt

The Team...ConGraTs!

It Was This SMall

a Work From The HeaRt..

End

CUlinary Arts ANd Design...My cReatIon..

2009-11-07T13:03:00.001-08:00

After A few Weeks of Hrd worK ANd sTaying Back..ThIS iS tHE eND oF a woNDERFUl N ELegANT PROjECT..
pLUS..it as been used as a centre pice for a few events..super proud of it..
Y we did butterflY>?because it was something no one made..haha
Mr.famI said we could get high marks in competition as the more the sturcture can move withot breakin apart..the higher the mark..and apparently..our butterfly wings could move..ahaha..enJoy the PicTz..

Butter Sculpture

Styroform..super proud of this..

fInished Product..

More to Come...

End..

MissIng YOu~

2009-11-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

i have MoveD on..But now..The prob..i ended in anuder one sided love..haiz...if only he knew..
although we might not noe each other long..but i feel something special in you..
i dunno y...but too bad..his heart belongs to someone else...i dunno how much chances we get to meet each other anymore..will we still be able to meet daily?
will we be more closer??
i don't wanna start anythin so soon..but i just wanna noe u more..i wanna be there for u..
i wanna feel ur comfort..
do u feel me..
ur glance,ur care towards me..it makes me feel so special..haha..

Mabel Emo..hahaha..haiz..well..wat to do..thats wat happens when u like someone but u feel sad inside for liking that person..
Mabel..gambateh!

End~

MarChing Day 1

2009-10-28T20:16:00.000-07:00

i thought things in secondary school r left behind..but..guess wat..we got to march for college too..hahah..sports carnival..n we're representing SHTCA!
well..although it was tiring n kinda lame..well we had fun too..
erm..staying till 7 or 8 pm daily was like crazy..
nvm..at least we got the craziest college memories..hahaha
This is The 1st Day!

Nasi Lemak After kawad..we spent around rm150 on mamak food..15 of us..34 glasses of dirnks

The day Is Setting

Resting

The Squad

Dancing???

TirEd But Heck of Fun~

ENd~

你心中已经有别人了吗？

2009-10-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

他已经有爱的人吗？

为什么他不回答我。

如果真的话，为什么不说呢？

如果你说有的，我会对你死心的吧。。

你这样会让我觉得还有希望。。

你知道吗？

不能见到你，

不能和你聊天。。

面对你的不里不柴的态度。。

有多辛苦吗？？

我好想时间回到我门刚认识那时候。。

没一天都过的开开心心的。。

那是后的我好开心好开心。。

应为我感到你把我当成好朋友。。

你有心事都会告诉我。见到面都会聊不停。。

有说有笑。。

但现在，我就觉得我好象陌生人了。。

你也开时逃避我。。

我好想你～

LoneLy..

2009-09-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

不喜欢一个人的感觉。。。

好难受哦～

为什么我会这样呢～

朋友我够多但我还是很寂寞。。。

lonely is a feeling no one wants to have i bet...

it makes u feel ignored,abandoned..

i am not complaining..but just expressing...

being lonely sucks~

walking alone,sitting alone...

out there alone..when beside you,you see people gathered together~

in big groups..happily laughing away~

the worst is when ur there alone..

and when u turn to ur side..u see a lovely couple..

hugging each other tight...

feeling the warmth they have for each other..

jealousy builds in urself..

knowing that when one of them is down or sad they will always have the other one to cheer them up,be there for them..

but what do u have for urself??nothing..

i am not complaining...i am just expressing once again..

i feel blessed to have so many friends..but its just not the same..

i do no know how to explain..

but with friends..they'll always be there for u too..but not at all times.

with someone that loves u..u r sure when u are down..u will have someone to come for u...put back the smile on u...

你明白我在说什么吗？

老天爷～帮帮我好吗？

-爱-

-enD..

AsTRo BaTtleGrOund 2009

2009-09-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photo.php?pid=2743160&id=116169881539

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photo.php?pid=2997715&id=116169881539

06/09/09

This year i went for aSTRo BATtleground ya..
Many Many strongg teams entered..
Kartoon Network,Street Wreckerz,Famous Strike,
Dancologist,D8 Century,Max Identity,
And even last years champion Elecoldxhot was there too..
wahlao...damn geng man diz crews..
well..talking about my crew..we just trained for 3 days..i know i know.
it is not enough,..we decided last minute and was hoping to gain experience only..
tHe danc ewas a mix of hip-hop and breaking...
The judges comment:
Marcus Tucker:He did not understand what we were trying to show
BobBy:The song Remixed was abit off..Not a Smooth flow and we lack of teamwork.
we did not have the chemistry..

wEll...it was a good try anyway...really thanks to KEn and WOlf !!!
GeneratIon R!!!!
haha..
anyway..this year would be a great show ya..all the top crews of malaysia are in..
so do support and stay tune ya!!

End-

PeaCe

MoVIe Mission Failed.

2009-09-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today right...Me,My Bro,My two sis went to cineleisure to watch the premiere screening of ugly truth thanks to the YOuth TOday Newspaper..we had 2 collect 2 news ad to redeem 2 tickets..

and got 4 news ads..

so we headed to cineleisure at around 7..

then the line was so long it nearly reached d exit..

so as we waited there eagerly for the counter to open..we talk n talk..

finally the counter opened..so we started praying that we could manage to get some tics..

there was around 100++ people..

wahlao..

long que..

and it was almost our turn..anuder 5 more..

wahlao...Den..the lazy at the counter said..SORRY>>>NO more TIcs...

wah..mission failed..hahahaha..

so..we wnet jalan jalan lor..hahaha..

mcD,the curve,ikano..haha..

sorry bro...brought u out but no movie watch..nvm..tomorrow we makan puas puas okie..

anyways..PEaCe..ahhaha...i wanna watch ugly truth on DVD!!haha

-End-

禹哲,生日快乐

2009-09-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

i Wanna Wish My Leng Zhai a BLeSsEd BIrthDay..

ALthough ur just Someone i admire and wouldn't stand a chance to even be able to talk to..

but i wanna wish u a HAppie Happie birThDay..

ur r d One dat is ALwAys in My imAgination and Make My DAys CheerFul And CraZy!!

GambaTeh..

END..

my Days..

2009-09-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

Days Passed...Head Blank..
whAt to do..
i Do Know what i'm Feeling..
What i'm Thinking..
i have nothing on mind..
but y am i depressed inside???
y do i feel like crying??but for no reason???what's happening to me???
why do i feel like there's something missing??
y do i feel that there something empty inside me??
tears just keep flowing without any reason??
why???
i once wished i could just live life with no worries...not much thinking..just a simple life..
and this is it right???but y is it empty???
y do i feel sad????
can anyone explain what's going on to me??
now,i feel useless..blank...and really empty..as if the there is no purpose or no excitement in life..
each day..i tell myself..put a smile on the face and live life to the fullest..but what is this???
y i feel sad????i have no worries like others...no family problems..no love problems...nothing..
but i just feel..really sad really really sad....i really tried my best to put on the biggest smile and the craziest attitude so that each day i make sure i go through it happily..i've done it..but why am i feeling like this.....dun cry gurl dun cry!!!!
now...i really wanna feel one thing..one thing only...i wan a hug..the feeling of love...i think that's what is missing ba...God..help me please...

a Smile....That's all....

-End-

My MErDEka EVe 09.

2009-08-31T08:55:00.000-07:00

For MerdEka this year...Celebrated in Seremban...AGain...haha..but this time..it is way more fun...my family,cousins,uncle's aunties,grandma..and apparently almost most of my mother's side closest relatives gathered together and had a mini bbq party...Food wAs ALLOt..THe FUn Was AMazIng..And tHe CRowd...WOoh..FabuLous..ahhaha

REally happy that we got to gather together as it has been quite sometime since we last gathered like this..evryone is now busy with their own stuff..the kids like me now have all grown up and went their ways..so it was quite hard to bring us togther..had a night of great fun..planning to have it again this coming raya ya..

ENJoy..

PoPo and Wei WEi..

MahJong SessIon

FOod...

BBQ..

Failed BBq...ALl BlacK Wan??

THe CRowd

THe YOunGer GeneRaTionof my CouSins..

OWh ya...it Was ALso TO CelebRate My Sis' BrufDay...

Happie 9TH BUrfDAy AMaNda!

Swensen's SpeCial From SwEnsEn..

Ice Cream Cake ..VaniLLa,CHOc n StraWBerry..

THe HeaLthy Food.

MerDeka!

Wrong Cue...haha

10..9..8....

MerDEka MERdeKA!

paTriOtic Lil BOy..

The MerDeKa Cake

Ouch..

Happy 52nd MerDeka!!

ENd..

My DansOn

2009-08-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

我喜欢唐禹哲

我喜欢唐禹哲。为什么我会喜欢他？？因为他太帅了。哈哈
但是我发觉这不是原因，
真正的原因是因为他让我想到｀他＇。
在｀翻滾吧！蛋炒飯＇这偶像剧里的DANSON让我想起了他。
DANSON很静，有点COOL，没什么说话，
不爱说心理想的东西还会让人觉的他冷冷的。
怪怪的他，看着他会让你觉的他很多秘密，
很多说不出的话，感到神秘。
就是因为他那种冷酷的性格.每一句每一动都让我想起他。
就着样我慢慢喜欢上他。

禹哲。。想念你。。。

mISSiNG yoU..

2009-08-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

aYO..life now kinda boring..no aim,no fun...as in excitement..
and nothing much to do.my daily routine,sleep,eat,work,on9...
aduh..i feel so useless...
and life seems so boring..
there's nothing exciting happening..

i miss the past now..
i miss the times when we had daily crew training,
i miss secondary,
i miss hanging out with fwens...

aduh..miss miss miss..

i especially miss Danson..haiz haiz haiz..

one thing i not happy about now is..it seems dat i got a problem..i think when i get frens..
people eventually dislikes me o find me boring as they noe me better..
how..wat to do..
ayo..sien

WHen life drops to emptyness,we start to miss the past..

-ENd-

NEw Sem...

2009-08-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Hey ya..New semester already..1 year passed...wooh..dat was fast..dis sem is all about food food and more food..all practical...chun weyh..we have a subject which is international cooking,this class teaches us to do different dishes from different country and we had Malaysia as the first country to start off..

Appetizer:Tauhu Sumbat,Rojak Buah
Main course:Nasi lemak with sambal udang and sotong..
Dessert:cendolall this can sum up with only one word...YUMMY..

Tauhu Sumbat

Cendol..(look at the multi layers)

Yummy

Rojak Buah

Nasi Lemak

maLAYSIA...thE hEAVEN OF foOD...

FHm 2009...My DreAms

2009-08-25T09:02:00.000-07:00

This is the 1st year i've been to Food and Hotel Malaysia and also culliniare..It was dope..u can see the food displayed and competed were like a piece of art..all the chefs were magnificent..
This is Barely a quarter of the photos taken..there were too much to see..i took photos till there was no memory left...

eNjoy n Be Hungry..hahaha

One DAy it Wil be TUrn..

ALL Victories Starts with a HOpe..

ENd

The MemOries...

2009-08-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

This r MemoRies That i miss ALlot...ALL the FUn TImes..THis is The Outing i Wnet WIth THree Lil Fella's..Guan Zai,CarTOon n Wai....My Best Kiddos at WOrk..Really Miss THem aLLot...
1st day..Went tO SUnway..was suppose to go for ice skating but then..when we finishe eating...close ady..aduh..so went archery..chun oso...
ahah...but really had fun la..hehe..Wai Back HoMetown d

Guan in Action

CarToon..

MaBeL..

ROar..

PeaCE

Ini...Pegi Kl With the Three Musketeers..Last Day WIth tHem...we're in TImes Square And Sq.Wang..Miss Them ALlot Man..

Went to Send Wai Off..Had Fun time be4 d Day end..
n we had All these Fun..Guess wat..i Had onLy rm17 at that TIme..ahahah

The 3 SIao Fellas

WOoh...

See That Bird

Wakakakkakaka

APa Ni??

PreTend Cute ar..

now Act CooL PuLak

CartOon n Guan Zai

Wai n CarTOon..Weird SPecs

Me n Wai...

Kasut Gang..

My 3rd Sem...

2009-08-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

Yo..soRry for the late upload..but here's sem 3..the sem of fooD and new Challenges...
1st...this sem i entered my 1st ever competition..
Philips healthy cookout 2009...
i was in the selected 12 for the 1st round..
i did mint yogurt chicken,pan grilled,with mashed carrot n potaTo WIth Sauteed Lotus ROot.
DraGon Fruit And Toufu Fa...Mushroom rIssotto...n Green Tea Cake(sTeamed.)
The Green Tea Cake Was FabuLous..hahah..TOo Bad i ForgOt TO Take Photos..hehheSO..here's APart FROm What i dID dUring Sem 3...

cLub SandWich

BUttEr NoodLes ANd CHeese BAked Mussels

er...

Mousse..i THink..ahhaa

Bun..

Here's APart of it..COs Most Of The PhOtos are in the Phone..ENjoy..heheh

yo..soRry FOr The lAte UpLoadHere's The Yummy Stuff Made During Sem 3..SO Far..tHe BEst Sem Ever..Alot New Things That i Have Learned..

end...

My DuriAns...Yummy..

2009-08-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

Went For durian Session With Bro n Ben dAn...Went to SS2..
All You Can Eat For rm15(the fella say better quality de...normally is priced at rm10)
it was really well worth it..hadan enjoyable time bullying ben dan and spending time with my buds..
n the durian was great ate till my tummy upside down..
we then walked home from ss2 due to the upside down tummy..ahaha
but it was great..

Me....n King of Fruits..
Ben Dan..ENjoying..

Bro..Prince of DurIans..

This Was How MUch 3 Of us Ate,..

DurIan..The King Of Fruits..Yummy..

ENd..

My SMiLe Brought BAck...

2009-08-03T02:49:00.000-07:00

I never thought i would feel like this..
I'm feeling weird inside..its like..i'm confused..r u trying to tell me something??
Its like ur there a moment then ur gone again..r u playing hide and seek?
I really hope that it will be true..
Ur smile...will belong to me..not only for that moment..but forever..
Thinking of ur smile bring tears into my eyes..tears of joy..
I remember so clearly..ur smile..and i am smiling now myself..
That power from that weird little smile.its too much..is it true??
This whole thing makes me crazy now..Will it ever happen?
That day..was really amazing..If that moment would last longer..would be closer..
Will it ever happen again?That day made me thought that something would have really happen..but now?have we gone back to the way we used to be....
I'm smiling and crying at the same time..how can this be..
Lord,What should i do?

Taylor Swift : Crazier

I never gone with the wind Just let it flow...
Let it take me where it wants to go
Till you open the door
There's so much more...
I've never seen it before
I was tryin to fly but I couldn't find wings,
But you came along, and you changed everything!

You lift my feet off the ground,
You spin me around,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin, And I'm,
lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier...

I watched from a distance as you
Made life your own...
Every sky was your own kind of blue...
And I wanted to know
How that would feel,
And you made so real...
You showed me something that I couldn't see...
You opened my eyes and you made me believe!!!

You lift my feet off the ground,
You spin me around,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier,crazier

Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier...

Ohhhhhh Baby you showed me what living is for,
I don't want to hide anymoooore...
You lift my feet off the ground,
You spin me around,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier,crazier
Feels like I'm fallin,
And I'm, lost in your eyes,
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier... crazier....

MAke This Feeling COme True WIll You??

oNe SMile MAkes The WOrLd GO ROund

End

My TeARs..

2009-05-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

tears slowly drop as i think..
my loneliness...the things i have lost..Lord..i want someone..i need someone..
someone to hold me tight.days are lnely..
it's so hard..i need a shoulder..someone to wipe away the tears..
this feeling sucks so much...each day is full of misery...
where are the promises u once gave me..is there n one else that can fulfill them??
no one there that can make my life happier once..Lord..i noe..u r there for me..but i'm a human..i noe..i'm wrong..i'm selfish..but Lord..i really need someone..things now have changed so much..
Lord...tears are harder to drip now..i stand strong alone now..each day..i wake up and say to myself...Dear..u can make it..
but how long more can i stand alone...Lord..be there for me..send an angel to be with me..life now is not the same anymore..frens have slowly left me..they have their life...Lord...i just wanna feel the joy of love..once and everlasting Lord...

The feel of the hug of care..
hug of protection
The warmth of love..
the passion of the kiss..
the hands holding tight..
the smile that brings so much light..
the laugh that makes ur heart so comfortable
the presence that makes u feel wanted..
the word of love that brings a blush..
The Feeling Of Not Being ALone...

End-

My HUg..

2009-05-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

yesterday i went to a club in sunway..MOS..i was with a fren..whu brought his frens whu i didn't know...when we went there...the first fren that was introduced to me was E..he was super friendly..was so excited cos this was the club which i had always wanted to go...finally..
went in..had a sip and went to dance floor..had very little that night..kept going to the dance floor..finally..evryone was half drunk..so was E..he was almost to knocked out..he couldn't really stand straight.....i was standing against a couch..so my fren brought E to stand there too..so,i chatted with him..he keep on saying he was so embarassed that he was drunk.so i borrowed a shoulder where he could hang on...we talked away about where we stayed..n stuff like that..then..i turn and faced him..trying to get up..i helped him..the next moment..his head was on my shoulder and his hands on my waist...he was hugging me..and so was i...
he held tighter..it seems he was afraid to let go..and didn't want to let go..that feeling..it was so comfortable..it wasn't the person that made me felt funny..it was the hug..it was like wht i have always wanted..the hug was like where u c in the tv show..where a gurl and a guy hug as they dance in a prom..so in love..never wanting to let go..he held tight..if i tried to loosen..he held tighter..suddenly a sense of satsfaction gripped me..it was like so nice..that hug took away many of my sadness..but then..now..thinking back..it was just that time..just a lil hope..a temporal satisfaction..if only it could last..if only that was by the person that loves me and most importanly that i love..what a perfect hug it would be..God..why have u give me a hug that is so short as a dream..i know..people would say..what a cheap person i am to have given advantage simply to anyone..but u wouldn's understand how i felt..at that moment..i felt as all of my loneliness..all of my sorrows was forgotten..just that very moment..is was like God had sent someone to hug me..to comfort me..if only..it was everlasting and more real..not just because the guy was drunk..haiz..Lord..when will the true hug of happiness come?

A hug that gives so much comfort..

End

The tIme Of DeCision...

2009-04-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

Things are getting rough for the past few weeks..
its seems like i'm in a period where..i'm lost..i so lost now..
things are getting hard..and its effecting my emotions..
i've been losing my temper ..ALLOT..
and i don't noe what's happening to me...
i don't noe wat i want...wat i wanna achive..wat i really want to do...
it seems i have lost the interest and fun...
but..i dunno wats the reason...nothing depressing brought me down..but it's just that..i seem to have lost all joy..
even the joy in dancing.i had a long conversation with TY yest..he made me thought deeply.it's not that i have lost passion or wat..maybe i have lost a little..but it seems..dance is no longer a thing that keeps me going..a fren that keeps me happy when i'm down..it's bringing pressure to me..
i've dance for a total of almost more than 5 yrs now..but now i'm sarting to think..am i really fit for this thing...
it's like a long term relationship..
we've been together for 5 yrs now..things were great,fun and enjoying at the start...but after so many years...when things did not acieve much and when we start to see there's no future in us..we think...y hold on??y??
for wat sake..???izzit because of the years we spent together??the bond we had..the hurt,pain and joy we had...
i'm lost..i'm really lost..i'm asking myself now..why am i still holding on to this relationship???
wat do i want???do i really still have that burning passion or izzit just cos i do not want peple to look down on me??
things are getting so confusing...God ...please show me an answer..i really thank the Lord that each time i had a problem or a lost in my..He always sent someone to talk to me..but Lord..what can i do for you..plese..guide me..i really need You..at this stage..i have no one else but You who totally understands me..

heart hurting,mind wandering,mouth blasting,overall lost...

I need someone ..just someone..who can hug me tight.hold me strong.hold me up..dun let me fall anymore...i'm getting numb...pls..

End-

My CreATIon

2009-04-19T04:21:00.000-07:00

This Are The CreaTions Of Me in My !st SEm.DIp in ProfEssIoNal Chef Training..
ScotCh Broth ANy1?

OyStErs

My FRuit TaRtLet...Nice???

Er..i FOrgOt Watz DIz..

This is A PorTIon of Wat !st Sem StudEnts do..But now..i'm In mY ThirD sEm Ya..SO..Way Better Stuff Are COming THeir Way..

Hold On TO Ur Napkins ANd SpoooNs ..Yummy Food Will Be SerVed SOon..

UpComing CHef...MabEl...

enD-

My Dance FamiLy...InVerSion...

2009-03-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

hey...today is quite an amzing day...
it's like so many surprises happening..
1st..this Thomaz fella go ajak me join comp in sg..
Almost all top crews will b there...ecx,..twister...
yeah...wat an experience..but ler..i no passport..
i wanna go...
then..later my mum told me..my passport havent't expire..wah...damn happie ya..
but ler..i remembered my moral presentation is on that day..sad case weyh...haizz...
i really wanna go!!!!!!!

k k..st0p with all that d....
actually...all these while i was quite sad n disppointed at myself n being in diz crew..i thought i haven't improve nth..
but finally today..i knew..i improved way more than i ever did..
i learned so much from here..
i've got bboy frm thomaz,ty,darren n emson..new skooll frm Ricole..wankin(which i learned today)fom vanice,poppin frm thomaz,and a new unknown style frm chris..dats allot to upgrade me frm my old skool hip-hop..hehehe..
i'm so happie..plus..besides d dance styles..i've got buddies..
thank u so much inversion
come on...tell me..how many dancers can dance so many styles of dance..although it may not be superb but it is still presentable..

i love u guys...thankz allot ya...n i wana go!!!!

PEaCe..

btw..this is the 1st time i wrote abt wat happened through out the day too..heehhe

We SHall Dance Till The Very End!!!

end

MY bLanknes..

2009-02-24T17:26:00.000-08:00

It's Quite long since my last post...

man..i'm blank...wat shud i say...
SUPER BUSY AND LASY I AM..

it's coming to the end of semester now...5 more semesters to go...eiiikkkk...so fAST..
think about it...i'm goin to finish next year...so fast..
.then there will be seperation again...super fast...
haiz...

Assignments assignment assignments..i really wanna hit myself again 4 doin everything at last minute..its so hard..for once...Hey gurl will u be hardworkin..just a little?????

Wat bouT My DaNCE lIFe???
It's been quite hard too ya...i dun have the happiness much frm it anymore ya.
.maybe it's bcos of the pressure...
maybe they do not un..training last time was easy...Walking distance..afternoon training...
i had all the time..but not now..
i dunno how to say but..i'm quite dissapointed at myself..really..after so many years..what have i achieved????i suck so much that i dun even dare to look at myself at the mirror when i dance...haiz...

Dance has always been my thing...but y?i'm sad for it...it seems i'm nothing when it comes to this...
where do i stand...????

I'm totally blank..i need someone that i can share to...someone that understands my situation...
yeah...i do noe i have ppl whom i can share to...but they all have different thinkings then i have...different situations..i may be able to share abt dance to this person..but i cannt share othr stuff cos he/she might nt un...haiz...i need God more than ever..i'm scared i'm gonna backslide frm Him...

For Life is Only Once..MakE eVerDay thE As If ItS tHE OnLy DaY u Have...

the End...

My SwEEt VaLenTinE SToRy...

2009-02-13T05:42:00.000-08:00

Hey...HERE's A rEally Sweet ValenTine's stOry..

Once..there's was this gurl..her name's linni..she was just in secondary school..
She was a cute little gurl with long brown hair.with the sweetest smile u'll ever see.a shy little gurl..sitting at the back of her class..hardly anyone notices her...But...there was this one boy she had a small little crush with..A boy name derek..he was a cute boy..short..but charming at his age..he was frm the class opposite.she could she him frm the window next to her.
each day..Linni would be so happie to go to class..just to get a glimpse of derek.
One day...Linni noticed there was a note left on her desk when she arrived to school.
The note was a small piece of paper torn frm an exercise book.
It says:

Hey, Linni right?i just wanna tell u...u have the prettiest smile in the whole school..
Can i be ur fren?

fROM:Derek..class xx

At that very moment.,linni's heart was jumping with joy..could this be the derek i liked..so,she replied derek's letter.. and as time pass on the became really close frens..
they would have break with each others..talking on and on to each other..until one day..there was a note again..this time it was on a red not cut into a heart shape..

Dearest Linni,

i like you,would you be my girlfriend?

Love,Derek

ANd that was her 1st boyfriend..They were really a sweet couple..really matching...
Derek had nothing much..he wasn't frm a rich family neither is Linni,but they we're happy with each other..
This was their small little love..
Befor school starts,Derek would wait for linni to arrive at the front gate..then they would walk together to class...Derek will send linni off to her class...during class they would peek on each other..When the recess bell rang,Derek would be at the door waiting for linni,then they would go to the small shed where linni would bring out her small little lunch box brought from home and share with Derek..after school they would spend time studying with each other...at times linni would just sit beside and watch Derek play basketball wif his friends..giving support to him..

Once when they had a chance to go out together..they were at this shopping mall..They hadn't much to spend.just a few ringgit in their pocket..enough to share a meal of Macdonalds and an ice cream..but that was just enough..they hadn't much to spend on a movie..but they found just a nice bench right in front of a video shop..
finally,when they passed by a jewelery store..linni told Derek,if we had money,we would buy a pair of matching rings for both of us..but Derek knew..it would take a real long time for them to be able to buy those rings..

The next day after dat,Derek gave linni a box..a small box..containing a ring from those toy vending machine..it was a pink rubber ring with an heart shape..linni was overjoyed..derek showed his finger to linni.another similar ring was on it..only that the ring he had on was blue..it was a matching ring..
although the ring was hardly 10 ringgit..but it was so precious to linni...this was how simple the love between both of them..they didn't think much..money wasn't a matter to them..they we're happy..

but as time goes on..and both of them grew up..finally they grew apart and went on their seperate ways..in to the next level of life..now..both of them had their own partners...but relationships in grown up life was way harder as there were different problems..money,family,career and so much more..it was hard..but that's life..

okie...end of story..this story may suck allot..but this is really how i wan my love to be..just that simple..
although many of you woud say..that it was just a puppy love..but how many of you would really have wanted ur relationship to be like dat....juz happy,simple n naive..
there wasn't much to be worried..even at times of low income...there is always a way to be happy..share a meal...cook together...that's so much better..no movies?stay at home and cuddle up together..study takes up most of ur time...study together...think about it..although it was just a puppy love..
but the trust and sincerity was frm the heart..we we're so unmature back then that we didn't feel that we will be losing this very person..we won't worry all the times..
we we'rent always arguing when the other person went out wif a fren...
it was just so somple..a smile..just a simple smile may brighten our day...dat was when we had the thought of a young child..

if i were to choose..i'd rather have a year of simple relationship like that then havin a 10years serious relationship with the maturity and unsecurity i have now...

i just wanna say..ppl..love can be just so simple..but to achive that simplicity is really hard...u gotta overcome ur ego ...ur selfishness..ur thoughts of a romantic date..come on..the best date ever is just seing each other ya...

that's wat i feel lar..
I don't want a guy whu is willing to sacrifice his life for me..if he was to die..i would be more sad and will be blaming myself..
i don't want a guy who can give a hundred roses..wats the point..the roses can't be eaten of kept..
i don't want a guy who would drive me frm home to penang..must as well i get a driver..
i don't want a guy who can would tell me i love you on the 1st day i meet him..show me man u love me..
i don;t need a man who can shower me with expensive gifts..is the heart that counts..a handmade card beats a diamond ring..

i once wrote..

Love is shown by actions,
Not promises,
Care is shown by love,
Not words,
Faith is shown by Trust,
Not sayings,
Trust is shown by believing,

Without Love,Care,Faith,Trust and believing,
A relationship will never be real,
Without all this,
A relationship will never exists
Even if everybody knows about it,
True love comes from the heart,
True love is not wanting t saccrifice lives for each other,
But to sacrifice the thime,feelings and heart...

God..May you Bless mE WIT A sImPLE lOVE LiKE Dat..

End..

My Song Of Love..

2009-02-13T05:23:00.000-08:00

Is It You..CassIe

i'm lookin for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when i need someone to talk to
i'm lookin for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And i'm lookin for someone who understands how i feel
Someone who can keep me real and who know
(the way)
The way i like to have it my way
And i'm lookin for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinkin ur the wan that i've been waiting for

Is it you?
Is it you?
Maybe ur the wan i've been waiting for
Could u be the want for me?
Could u be the want want i need?
Is it you?
Is it you?
Maybe ur the wan i've been waiting for
Could u be the wan for me?
(Could u be?)
Could u be the wan i need?

i'm lookin for someone to share my pain
(Uh)
Someone who i can run to
Who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who i can cry with thru the night
Someone who i can trust whose heart is rite
And i'm lookin for someone

And i'm lookin for someone who understands how i feel
Someone who can keep me real
And who knows
(The way)
The way i like to have it my way
And i'm lookin for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinkin ur the wan that i've been waiting for

Is it you?
Is it you?
Maybe ur the wan i've been waiting for
Could you be the wan for me?
Could you be the wan i need?
Is it you?
Is it you?
Maybe ur the wan i've been waiting for
Could you be the wan for me?
Could you ge the wan i need?

Someone who won't take for granted
How much i care
(How much i care)
And appreciates that i'm there
Someone who listens
And someone i can call who isn't afraid of love to share

Is it you?
Is it you?
Maybe ur the wan i've been waiting for
Could you be the wan for me?
Could you be the wan i need?
Is it you?
Is it you?
Maybe ur the wan i've been waiting for
Could you be the wan for me?
Could you be the wan i need?

This SonGs sINgS aBouT HoW LoVe sHULd Be Ya..cHecK iT ouT..

END..

My SigHt...

2009-02-06T23:58:00.000-08:00

My eyeSight Is Getting Worst..iTs alReady Bad n Its GettIng WorsT..I Did Not Care Much About It untIl RecEntLy I Watched a Tv seRies..a Girl Lost her SiGHT AND gAIn it bak again...How afRaid she was to have lost it again..
1st..I thought..How great it was if i can be blind..
that in the way..i won't be able to see the cruels of the world and the sins of the world..
i would not be able to see ppl dying or killings..
and i would love without caring about the appearance..
how good is it..
but then..yesterday..when i took off my spec and off the lights..
i realise my vision was not as clear as before already..everythin was blur..
and fear held me...even now..i can't see clearly the words on the screen..i have to go closer..
wat if i really became blind.
.how would i be able to see my loved ones..
how do i protect them..
i won't be able to see the beatiful sights of this world again..
i won't be able to dance nor cook no more...
i'm really afraid nw..wat if one day really something happened to me?
will anyone care for me?will anyone be there for me..
will anyone remember me..
God..Pls..Take this fear away frm me..I'm really scared..really..

Without sight,
we will sin less,
we will feel less pain on the sufferings of the world,
we will shed less tears,
we will not see the cruel doings of man kind..

But,without sight,.
we live in darkness..
we only have the guidance through God's light..
we will noe less about the world..
we will onli hear voices.
we will live in fear..
we will not see the smilling faces of our loved ones..

Now,i un...
and i'm in fear..
God..Make me strong...

ENd...

My loVe,,

2009-01-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

I Wish I Could Be In Love Once Again...The FeeLng Is GreAt..Yet Heart WreNching At Times..Wat DOes It Feel Like To Really Fall In Love??I Really Wanna Noe...

When We Fall In Love..
Do It Really Feels Like We'rE Fying?
How DOes It Feel Holding D Hands Of The One U Love?
HUggIng The One U Love.??
How I PRaY That We Could Just Sit ToGehtEr the Whole Day And Just Talk..
If ONly i Could Find That PerSon..
But For Now..
I'll Just Sit hEre waIting With My ImgInations...
WaitIng For The Love From That SpecIal Someone That God Will Bless Me With..

End

My FaMilY....

2009-01-14T00:28:00.000-08:00

Hey...Time here In Pj Have Made me LeaRnt Allot ya...
Dance...
i'm starting to miss the times i had with mjc2 ya...
it was the best of times....although there were arguements..but it was always fun through practices..we wen't every where together...we were for ech other in dance..yes..i admit..there was backstabbing..but we still went in a team...
its really different here now..everything is really not the same...
mjc2 was really a family...we did everything together.,..choreography...we were always thinking stupid ideas.../practicing the whole day was never boring..shopping 4 customes...and the competition./...it was all...i miss them...mjc2...i miss u guys allot...its so different without u guys...

when there was a better thing...
we will fall for it..
but we never thought wat we have was just the best we have..un til we lost it..
now i have realise..
and what is left is just memories//
i jjst wished that everything will all come back..but
its all just memories..
all memories..
to cry for when u miss them..

Lord,I just pray to you that u just giv me bak the joy i have for this passion..in whatever way it is...May You use it the way u wan it...Thank you Lord..Amen

End...

A New Year,,,A new challenge..

2009-01-11T23:03:00.000-08:00

What Do I have To Say..Another year PasseD...Happy BurFdAy To MySelf...
YesteRDay I Turned 19...
Spent It AlmosT aloNe d Whole Day..
went to church in d morning and wnet to pwtc for the youth event...
nothin much..i can't belive that not much of my old buddies wished me...kinda of sad..maybe as time pass..things change..and people tend to forget..kinda of sad though...
but it was a great blessin to get to noe ppl frm cake sense ya...
they celebrated for me on sat...had steamboat..thanks..

Haiz...19 aleady...so fast...
there's so much i havent do/..
great challenges will come this year...i can feel it...
i cannot make up my mind about certain thgs though...
life's hard for everyone of us...
i've been thinking quite allot lately...i dunnoe how to start..
things din really quite work out the wy i wanted it to be for the past 1 year...i did't feel much achivement last year..
life suckz...
19 n i havent do anything much...
everything is just half way...
haiz...

End

New STaRt Of The Year...A New ChaPTer Of My StoRy...mE AND MY Friend...

2009-01-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

This New year Is the Begining Of a New CHaPter Of My Life..evry year... different things happen...last year...a whole lot happen...
this year will be a greater year..
this year i vow to noe God bEtter...
i wanna seek Him for he gave me everything..my dance,my study my joy...and love...
He is everything...as i think back about last year...i was so involved in myself...i forgot Him...
i wanna be with Him,..onli he is the most faithfull..only He is truthful to me..this world is fake and untrustful..
i had this guy telling me he loved me..but he never showed...he was always angry at small things i did...but God never was l;ike that..even if i was mad at Him for wat had happened...but he still blessed me each day...
this is my Story OF ME AND MY bEST fRIEND...
what ios the world without God...

2008-10-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

Exhausted

I’m way exhausted today.Finally got 1 assignment done..4 more to go..still haven’t got any idea on how o what to do for my finals..
Haiz…think think think…I don’t wanna loose..

What to say today ya…everyday is like a new day for me..there’s so much challenges..i don’s even know where to start.
I’ve been feeling quite left out lately…its as if I do not belong anywhere..
I’n no good in dance…I’m no good in cooking..i’m no good even being a friend..
Its like everyone is turning their backs on me…what have I to say..i hate myself too..
This world is so hard to live..i’m really getting tired already..
Its like I’m just alone in my own little world…
Who cares if I’m gone..maybe some will even shout in joy when I’m gone..
I really need someone by me..to stand by me..to hold me tight when I feel lost..
To let me noe that I’m still appreciated..
Yes..he has always said that I’m greatly appreciated in the group..he often praises me..but why do I see his dislike in me in his eyes..why do I feel that I’m just a pain in the butt for him..
Its so hard…its already heart knowing that he’ll never be mind..its harder to accept the feel that I think he hates me..what’s wrong with me..
Haiz…guess..that’s me…

People will appreciate u when u appreciate urself

Still crying..lonely..

PEaCe

End

My StoRy

2008-10-14T04:42:00.000-07:00

14th Oct 2008
The BEGiniNg

Hey…this is the start of a new entry of my life..let me get u started a little about my story..this story is about my life,the people around me and my achievements and falls..there’s also my dreams…
There’s so much to write about…I don’t really know where to get started…
Just like every event in this life..there’s always a beginning and an ending…

Just live life to the fullest…that’s what I have always said to myself and have always hoped to do..
If life was so simple…

The Distance

i’ve met him…just like that…
no introduction by anyone…I just bumped into him in some network…
It was like God wanted us to meet…
And the next moment I knew…we were together….not a couple..as in the same team…meeting each other almost everyday(but there’s also the other members..)
Have you ever met a person..who was so like you..i mean…every move he did,…every response he gave…it was like wat you would have do…and that was him..giving a point of 7/10 he was that much like me..
He was always emotional..his thoughts we’re almost like mine..the ego…
But then again..there were times where I felt..he was totally different..
He was just like a kid I need to take care of…
He was pampered..and spoilt..but yet..i done mine…
i’d spoil him more…there was a feeling and burden in me that keep reminding myself to be there for him…to give support to him….to spend him…as we would spend to a little kid..
he gave a feeling that he needs to be cared for..
He shared that he was hurt before and he has lose trust in people…
That was what I went through too..
And that is why I want so much to care for him…
Never to let him hurt and alone again…
But then again…I noe…I can never be near his heart…never..
The most I can be is his great pal..
That is for sure…
i have felt his warm arms around me..his gentle hand playing with my head..
rubbing my head like I would like my dear touch my head…
the way he plays with me. make me smile..
and yet again. this is him…this is how he treats everyone. not just me..
seeing him with the person he loves…my heart is full of jealousy.. But yet again.. Seeing him smile…makes my heart melt…
why oh why have I fall for this person..
its like repeating the same mistake I’ve done before..
falling for a person who is so popular that I don’s even stant in the 50% of the girls he would choose…

his warmth is so near to me…but yet his heart is so far away from me…
all I can do is to pray for blessings for him and to be there for him in times of need..even though he only knows I’m a great pal to him…

joy is when u made someone else smile

PeaCe

ENd